Not my will, but thine...

This Sunday I was sitting in sharing time listening to a member of the Primary Presidency talk about the Atonement. She was showing the children the picture of Jesus kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane, you know the picture I'm talking about, we have seen it a million times.
We have heard this story a million times.
You know how when you hear something that you have heard over and over and over and then one day...
it just sinks in?
Well that happened to me.
When Jesus got to the Mount of Olives he left his disciples about a stones throw away. He fell to his face. He did not stumble because of a rock or bump, He stumbled because of the weight of our sins. Heavenly Father sent an Angel...
..."And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him."
Jesus prayed to His Father..."Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not My will but Thine, be done."
Now that is the part of this story that I have glazed over all of these years.
He prayed those words to His Father not only once, but THREE times.
I always think of the Atonement in how it affects me. And all Mankind. And I have always thought about the physical pain that He had to endure. But I can't say that I have thought a lot about the emotional pain that He was going through for HIM. He didn't want to have to suffer and die. He didn't want to leave the people He loved. His Mother, Joseph, His Apostles. He had a broken heart. Not just for us, but for Him too! It makes the atonement so much more real to me. It makes HIM so much more real to me. The fact that He understands my pain so perfectly. He has to; He suffered so much more than I will EVER suffer.
I want you all to know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. He suffered, died, and left His own family and friends because He made a commitment. He is a man of perfect character. He LOVES each and every one of us. He understands our pain, our sorrow and our loss.
I love you all.
Read the accounts of His last week in the New Testament. Prepare yourself for Easter morning. Not with eggs and bunnies, but with a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Make this week Special!

Sheep

Conference was amazing, as usual.
I had to work Saturday afternoon so I just watched that session of conference yesterday. There were a lot of wonderful talks. I wanted to put one of my favorite poems in my blog this week. Richard J. Maynes quoted it in his talk "Establishing a Christ-Centered Home".

The Echo
by: C. C. Miller

'Twas a sheep not a lamb
That strayed away in the parable Jesus told,
A grown up sheep that strayed away
From the ninety and nine in the fold.
And why for the sheep should we seek
And earnestly hope and pray?
Because there is danger when sheep go wrong:
They lead the lambs astray.
Lambs will follow the sheep, you know,
Wherever the sheep may stray.
When sheep go wrong,
It won't take long till the lambs are as wrong as they.
And so with the sheep we earnestly plead
For the sake of the lambs today,
For when the sheep are lost
What a terrible cost
The lambs will have to pay.

Being a parent is no easy task, and it sure isn't for sissies! We are told that if we don't teach our children correct principles then the sin will be on our head. No matter how old our children get they always need us. Our responsibility to parent them never goes away. I think that when we are young and in love and we are so excited to start a family, it just doesn't sink in that these cute little babies will grow up to be teenagers, and then young adults. Pretty soon we have to let go and allow them to make their own decisions and that is so hard.
The very best help we can get is from our Heavenly Father. They were His children long before they were ours. We have a sacred obligation to Heavenly Father to raise them the way He wants us to.
We need to be good sheep, and we need to listen to our Shepherd.
My prayer is that we will learn to recognize His voice.
I love you all.
Make this a good week.

We believe...

Article of Faith #3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. I Love the simplicity of The Articles of Faith. I am continually learning. It reminds me a little of Shrek. He explained that he had layers, like an onion. I keep peeling back more layers and there is always something new to learn. One of my favorite "Atonement" analogies is one I heard today. The law of gravity. If we jump out of an airplane we will fall to the ground. We have parachutes that can help us float gently, and will save us from the fall. It isn't enough to just know that the parachute exists. We must purchase one and learn how to use it for it to be effective. Just like the parachute, it isn't enough just to know or even acknowledge that the Atonement it real, we must learn how to use it in our lives for it to be effective. I promise that if you learn how to use our Savior's Atonement you will live a happier, more complete life. Heavenly Father is Real. He Loves You and wants you to be happy. I love you all.

Men, Men, Men, Men, Manly Men

Since only my daughters read my blog I think it will be safe to address the subject of Men.
Ponder, what is a real man...? Is it the guy on the Old Spice commercials? Is it Jimmer? Is it the guy whos voice we hear in the 'Ram' truck commericials? Or could it be the Dad in the commericial who starts his car for his daughter all the way from England?
Are we too hard on men? Do we expect them to smell like the guy from 'Old Spice', shoot a basketball like Jimmer and still be humble about the 'team effort'? Do they need to sound like 'Ram' truck man and provide a luxery car like the 'England' guy?
So does the media tell us what a real man is or do we decide on our own.
I have several men that I admire in my life. And I can assure you, NONE of them are Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, or Donald Trump, the faces of TV, Sports and Wealth.
So in no particular order, here are a few.
My Dad. Thomas S. Monson. Chad Schmidt. Joseph Smith. Daniel Anderson. Dwayne Belt. Henry B. Eyring. Ben Hatch. Hugh Hatch.
I assure you the list could go on but I have to end it somewhere and today I end it with Two Men that are my favorites of all time. First, My Savior, and Second, My Husband.
I have to tell you what I saw this week...
Terry's electric razor died on Sunday. He had to be at an early meeting and the Bishop ran his finger up Terry's chin and asked him about the condition of his razor. Terry explained that his electric one was dead. When Terry got home his razor still hadn't charged so it was thrown in the garbage. He didn't have any regular razors, nor did he have any regular shaving cream. He wondered whether he should go to the store on Sunday, the Lord's sabbath. We decided it would be best to observe the sacred day and work with what we had....so...
To me a real man is a man who is not too macho to use a pretty, pink razor and Dove soap to shave so he can present himself to the Lord on His sacred day.
Terry is my Hero. I love him so much and thank Heavenly Father every day for the privilege of being his wife.
So, don't let the media tell you what a man really is supposed to be. You already know.
I love you all.
Have a great week!

Simple

Well, the newsletter that I was dreading came out last Sunday. I hid it away in my drawer because I didn't want anyone to see it. Mostly I think I hid it from myself, because no one else even knows that it exists. Katie got the same newsletter in the mail but only opened the envelope, never took out what was inside. How many of us do that? We get a letter and never even bother to look at it, especially if it is from someone we feel will preach to us or tell us things about ourselves that we don't really want to know. How many of us avoid praying because we don't want to be reminded of what we just don't want to deal with?
But, that is not what this post is about, it is about simplicity. It does have a little, well maybe a lot, to do with the newsletter though. As I read about the other 3 women spotlighted and then finally moved on to mine I was pretty disappointed at first, I think that is why I put it away. I haven't read it in over a week because I have started to embrace what Sister Wright wrote about me and I am afraid if I read it again all of the good things I have started to believe will go away....Am I just crazy? Maybe, probably, but even so...

What I learned about myself is that I am really simple. When I finished reading the spotlight the thought just settled on me, not like a two-by-four moment, more like a gentle dew from heaven, just a quiet voice, "Hollie, she nailed you, you are simple". So of course, you know me, in my quest to like who I am and be comfortable with that knowledge I have turned simplicity into a good thing.
So, this week's challenge is to look at yourself, don't take 51 years to find out that you are who you are, who Heavenly Father created you to be. If that is simple, that is OK. I can't pretend to be something that I'm not and neither should you. Embrace the person that you are and surround yourself with people who love you for being who you were born to be.

I love you all.

Have a great week.

To be or not to be...

I have been reading a book lately by Sheri Dew entitled 'No One Can Take Your Place'. She writes about how important our roles are in this life. I read something last night that I thought I would like to share, so the next paragraph or two are from her book.

As a journalist for the Saturday Evening Post in Europe during the 1930's, Dorothy Thompson witnessed Hitler's rise to power. During an address at a convention in Toronto on May 2, 1941, she said this, "Before this epoch is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up with Hitler or against him. Every living human being will either have opposed this onslaught or supported it. For if he tries to make no choice, that in itself will be a choice. If he takes no side, he is on Hitler's side. If he does not act, that is an act - for Hitler."

Then Sheri Dew takes it to the institution of the Family. And she said this, "Before this era is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up in support of the family as we know it and as God intended it, or against it. Every living human being will either have opposed the onslaught against the family or supported it. For if we make no choice, that in itself will be a choice. If we do not act in behalf of the family, that itself will be an act in opposition to the family."

Sheri then challenges women - "As women who care about our families in particular and about the family in general, as mothers and wives, grandmothers and sisters and aunts, we no longer have the luxury of standing by and watching what is happening all around us. It is time to stand up and be counted.
I remember that Tiffany used to have a poster on her wall that said, "Stand for something, even if you're standing alone".
Now is the time for courage, the world is only going to get worse.
My prayer is that we will not be afraid to do what we know is right.
I love you all.

Thoughts

So, my first thought is actually a question...Why do my best thoughts come in the middle of the night?

Last night I kept waking up, thinking about blogs. I was wondering if I should start another blog to write my thoughts and keep this one just for the Ark. I must have woke up a dozen times with the same thing on my mind, I know now that the reason it keeps coming back is because it is unresolved. So I am going to resolve it right now. No, I am not starting another blog, I can put everything I want here. Only a handful of people read it anyway.

That is another thing. I think a blog is more for the person writing it than it is for the people who read it. It is like keeping a journal. You are able to sort things out in your mind. You are able to have 'closure'. So dear family, I will also be putting in some of my thoughts, my frustrations, and some of the unanswered questions that float around in my head. I keep hoping that one day there will not be enough room in my head for any 'floating' to happen but no, I never get it full enough no matter how I try. I think sometimes it is like a strainer. I put tons in but there is so much that just goes right through. This blog is going to allow me to keep all the good stuff....hopefully. :)

Yes, you all know that I am a 'forgetter'. Is that a word? Probably not, but here in hollieworld it is...So this blog will help me remember, and will give you all the thoughts just in case I do forget and then you can help me remember. Thank you in advance.

Now, let's get on with what I got on here to say. Maybe that is the problem, I think I have so MUCH to say that I don't know where to start. blah, blah, blah....poor Terry, he has to put up with this all the time. Did I tell you all how much I love you? Thanks to all of you for putting up with me.

OK. So in my babbling I think I figured out what is bugging me. I got a call the other day, the Relief Society President wants to do a focus page on me for the month of March. Now for most people it is not really a big deal. And in reality it is not really a big deal, it's not like it's the New York Times. It's a simple little life sketch. I just feel so insignificant. I read the other sketches every month, sometimes I even cry because I feel so average. What do I have to offer? I told a couple of ladies at work and they said, "Oh if only we could write it." They know me pretty well...

I am really worried about what to say. I don't have any medals, my victories didn't come with any type of recognition. I didn't do a mighty recital or write a dissertation. I don't have a diploma, I didn't study under some amazing artist or musician. I've made so many mistakes, I didn't have the 'happily ever after', I do now, but it came after a lot of heartache and trials. I don't think anyone will look at my life and say, "When I grow up I want to be her." And that is OK with me, I just don't think I want every woman in the ward to say that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I really like who I am, I have embraced my life and my journey. I like the person that all my trials helped me to become. Maybe I can say that I studied under the greatest teacher, musician, artist, and master of all. All I learned was at the footstool of my Savior. And for that I am so grateful. My trials literally forced me to rely on Him, because I had no one else. But that is so personal, I don't want everybody to know that. So here I am, back at square one. Today at 3pm I will be interviewed and I don't have a clue what to say.

I am so blessed to have such great parents who taught me all the important things. The principles of the Gospel. Who taught me to not call them every time my life caused me to stumble, who taught me to rely on the One that is really and truly always there. I am grateful for my Savior, my Best Friend. My soft place to fall and my Rock.
Have a great Valentines day! Thank you all for being my Valentines! I love you!