True Healing Power

I had an interesting experience the other day that touched my heart and reminded me of just how far the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ can reach.

I pray everyday to have opportunities to 'feel' something special; something unique. Some days those prayers are answered, some days they are not. But on one special day a couple of weeks ago this happened:

I was talking on the phone at work with one of our clients. I knew a little about her story because the Agent in the office shared it with me. But I had never talked about it with her, Desi (name was changed).

Desi had asked me to review her policies to make sure she had sufficient coverage in case of an accident. I went through all of them with her, she apologized for taking up so much of my time and then said, "I am not sure if you know my story, why I am so worried about how much coverage I have."

...(by the way...she has a Four Million dollar umbrella coverage over all of her policies)...

She went on to tell me that several years ago she was in an accident, these are her words:

"It was on a winter night, it was very dark and the roads were covered with ice and snow. I was going about 5 miles and hour, it was hard to see and there was quite a bit of traffic. I was slowing down to turn into a local shopping center, as I turned the corner I hit something...Hollie, it was a person. I just barely tapped him with my side mirror. I jumped out of my car and asked him if he was ok. He said he was but I could tell that he was a little shaken up so we called the police and an ambulance to get him to the doctor to make sure he was alright. I was terrified! I followed the ambulance to the hospital and stayed to make sure he was going to be ok. I was relieved, but had a nagging feeling. I couldn't eat or sleep, and for three days I called the hospital to see how he was doing. The first day I called the nurse told me that he was fine, he was resting. The second day I called the nurse said that his family was in the room with him and they were all having a wonderful time, he was doing well. The third day I called the nurse paused...and after a few seconds; which felt like hours, she said, "He died this morning." Hollie, I didn't know what to do. My whole world went black. How could I live with what I had done."

I have known Desi for a couple of years. She is in her 60's, she has beautiful white hair and has the heart of an Angel. Rarely does one meet someone with a 'pure heart', but she is one of those precious souls. She is always kind and cheerful. Always smiling, always serving.

I asked her, "How do you survive something like that?"

She responded, "Hollie, are you LDS?" I told her that I am. Then she said, "It was ONLY through the power of the Atonement that I was healed. For weeks I wanted to die. I just couldn't get passed what I had done...Hollie, I took someone's life...I deserved to die. Then one day I knew that I couldn't do it anymore, I knew that it was too heavy of a burden to carry on my own. I turned it over, I allowed the Atonement to work in my life, I allowed the Atonement to heal me. My Savior gave His life for all of my sins, my sorrows, my mistakes and heartaches...oh Hollie, so many people think that the Atonement is only for sinners; people who intentionally hurt other people...but Hollie, the Atonement reaches so much farther than that. It heals the victims, it heals the broken hearted. It makes broken things whole. I am who I am today because of what I have learned."

My heart was so touched, I said to Desi, "Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, thank you for sharing something so personal."

She apologized for keeping me on the phone so long, for taking me away from my real work. I reassured her that it was my pleasure to spend time on the phone and thanked her again for telling me her story.

What a precious gift she shared with me that day. I will never forget her tender voice and sweet spirit.

I too, know that the Atonement is real, I too, know that it reaches far beyond sin. I know it is real because I have also felt the miracle of the true healing power that can only come from the True Healer, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

My Conversion Story

My conversion to the Gospel began at such an early age, in fact I can't ever remember a day when I didn't believe in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
My earliest memory of feeling the Spirit was when I was a little girl. We lived in Nibley, Utah. I was asked to speak in a large meeting. As I stood at the pulpit and looked out over the congregation I felt something I had never felt before. I could see the gentle face of my Mother looking up at me. Her face gave me the courage I needed to go on. It was right after I got baptized and I'm sure my talk was on baptism and what it meant to me to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. I do not remember what I said, but I remember how I felt.
It was one of those feelings that stays forever. One of those feelings that you can't deny.
I don't think I understood what I felt at that time. In fact so often the feelings we receive can sometimes be waved away as 'fear'. But I have been afraid before and the feeling is different. Fear makes me feel unsafe. The spirit that I felt that day made me feel safe. I felt encircled by warmth.

The next time I felt the Spirit was in Sunday School. I must have been a Freshman in High School.
We lived in Florence, Arizona at the time and our meetinghouse was a little white house that was turned into a church. I do not know who my Sunday School teacher was. I prided myself on being the class clown and rarely paid attention to the lesson, but this one Sunday changed me. As he taught I began my routine of asking stupid questions. As he answered my questions it was like a light switch was turned on inside of me. I really wanted to learn! I will NEVER forget how I felt that day. It was the same feeling I got before...I felt safe, encircled by warmth.

Not long after I started paying attention in Sunday school I was sitting in a Testimony meeting. As I listened to other people bear their testimonies I felt that feeling again. One moment I was sitting in my chair and the next moment I was standing, all eyes were on me, I bore my testimony for the very first time. Of course I don't remember what I said, but I will never forget how I felt.

Probably the next time I felt that spirit was after I finished reading The Book of Mormon for the first time. We lived in Jerome, Idaho. Ben was on his mission and because I missed him so much I decided I would teach myself the gospel so I could experience just a little of what he was experiencing on his mission. I read the entire Book of Mormon for the first time. I felt like I really didn't need to ask Heavenly Father if it was true because I already believed that it was, but I didn't want to rob myself of the experience of receiving conformation from Heavenly Father of the truthfulness of the book. So I took the Moroni's challenge and asked Heavenly Father if the book was true, if it really was an ancient book that was translated by Joseph Smith. I received the same unmistakable confirmation from the spirit.

As I matured so did the feelings that I received from the Holy Ghost. The once small feelings began to grow, to burn into my soul. Soon my testimony was written on the fleshy tables of my heart. There was no turning back, there was only moving forward. I knew, and Heavenly Father knew that I knew and I couldn't deny it.

Over the years I have received so many confirmations from the spirit that it would be impossible to count them all.

My conversion story is not like a light coming on in a dark room.

My story is like a sunrise. Before the sun peeks over the horizon there is a calm. A peace that you can almost reach out and touch. As the seconds and minutes tick away, ever so slowly the sun begins to light up the night sky. The rays reach out and pierce the darkness. The shadows begin to fade away and things that were once difficult to see are brought into the light. The sun soon forces the darkness to leave. Fear is gone, it is replaced by Peace.

We all have a conversion story. Not two stories are the same. It is so important to figure out how God speaks to us. He speaks to each of us differently. I am grateful that at a young age I had a desire to know how He speaks to me.