Today I stopped...A poem for my Dad

Today I Stopped

Always something to go and do,
life, at times, feels like a race.
Running here and running there,
how in the world do I keep up this pace?

Studying, praying, pondering, my blog,
a phone call, a meeting, a card, a meal,
Excercise my body, strengthen my mind,
self improvement tapes while on the treadmill.

The leaves are changing,
quick to the hills.
Tomorrow they'll be gone,
How crisp the air feels.

Where are the kids? Are they ok?
If I don't fix them then tell me who will?
If they would just listen I know they'd be fine.
Then the wisdom of ages, counsels
...be still.

BE STILL, you say, that must be a joke
If I slow down the pain will catch up,
I must move faster, never stopping to breathe
I'm thirsty but can't pause to fill my cup.

I'm getting weaker, my patience is gone,
He said He'd help, but I don't think He will.
I can't figure out what more I can do...
His answers the same...it's always,
...be still.

I just want to scream,
at the top of my lungs
"I AM BEING STILL,
WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU MEAN?"

I turn to my scriptures, what do the prophets say?
Isaiah, Isaiah please help me see, please oh please tell me how to feel.
And then the old prophet whispers from the dust,
"Your strength will come by
...sitting still."

I run to the temple, the answer must be there.
The temple that sits on top of the hill,
I walk in the chapel, I sit patiently and wait,
while the organ wills my soul to
...be still.

Slowly I started to relax and breathe
today the anchor gently I dropped.
But mostly because my Dad asked me to,
Today, with the sunrise...
...today I stopped.

Today I stopped...to feel the breeze blow,
Today I stopped...to listen to fountains flow.
Today I stopped...to pick up an acorn,
Today I stopped...and watched Moroni blow his horn.
Today I stopped...to smell a fresh cut lawn,
Today I stopped...to ponder days long gone.
Today I stopped...to feel the sun on my face.
Today I stopped...to consider His amazing grace.

Isaiah said, "In returning and rest ye shall be saved"
His words I study at great length,
and then he said, and I quote,
"In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength."

Today I promise to be more gentle to me,
Just for my Dad, calm and patient I'll be.
He asked me to STOP, to breathe in, and then out.
I even promise that I will try not to pout.
I think I'm all grown, I'm rarely too bratty,
But this little girl still needs her Daddy.

I love you Dad.

Happy

Hi to all of my cute little readers...Tiffany. :)
I just want you all to know that I am recovering and starting to feel better.
I do appreciate that I have been able to 'vent' on some of my postings and I do appreciate your patience while I became less than I should be.
My mother always taught me that it is ok to get angry, to mourn, and to cry. It is even ok to sit on your pittypot for a while.
But it is so important to pass through those moments, to keep moving through those trials because if we sit still we will become enveloped in the experience and drown.

Life is good. Happiness is earned...

...and it is so worth it!

I love you.

Make it a wonderful week.

Manure Happens

In life we have so many different types of people. It is such a wonderful blessing to be a part of this world and to experience life.
I think of some of the people who are important to me and some who aren't.
Why do we choose some of the friends we do?
Are we instantly compatible, so much alike that we practically read one another's minds?
Are we polar opposites, drawn to one another because it brings balance to our universe?
Either way we do choose.
We choose to love and to be loved.
We choose to work on relationships or just let them die because it is just too inconvenient.

We choose.

Have you ever chosen to befriend a manure person?

"What's a manure person?" you ask...

We all know these people, actually it is quite sad when you think about it...

Manure is such a natural thing, it is a part of life. It is used in so many different ways. I recently read, an article CJ wrote, about families gathering manure to use to start fires when the weather turns cold.

Manure, if used correctly can make beautiful things happen to flowers and gardens.
So, the manure itself isn't bad, it stinks, but it isn't bad.
I guess it is like everything else, it's what we choose to do with it that matters.

We all know where manure comes from,
we all know that it is stinky and gross...
we all know that if it is left alone it will get a crust on it and it will dry out.

The people I am talking about today are the ones that love to walk up to a pile of manure and kick it, just to cause a 'stink'.

Let it go...

let the dung dry up and blow away.

Or use it to make something grow, or to keep someone warm.

Don't just make a stink...!!!

Make it a wonderful week,
and let's all try not to cause a STINK!!

I love you!

Worms

I have had a very interesting week...
in fact, if I really think back it started long before just a week ago.
This week was just the finale...
the amazing musical number they save for last...
Romeo dying,
the final set of fireworks on the Forth of July...
That was this week!
I'm not sure if I should think of it as a death,

...or a birth...

probably both.

Terry and I went to St. George with our friends and had such a great time. We went to see 'The Little Mermaid' and 'Grease' at the Tuachan Amphitheater. Both shows were amazing.
We had all day Saturday to play so we decided to visit a few of the historical sites, and of course, they all had to do with church history.
We visited the Brigham Young home, the Tabernacle, the Temple Visitor Center, and the Jacob Hamblin home. I was impressed with all of the tours and all of the sweet missionaries.
The story I want to tell you is the one the Sister told at the Brigham Young home.
She shared so much information with us, and then she told us that one of her favorite stories is of the Silkworm.

On the table in Brigham's office were several little trinkets,
one was a little jar of what appeared to be cotton balls, the size of a pecan.
The sister missionary picked up the jar and began...

...The early pioneers had silkworms sent from China, the little worms are totally dependant on humans for survival. They ate non stop for several years, until they reached puberty. Then they started to molt; to turn into moths.
They began to get little horns on their backs and sorta regurgitate everything they had eaten their whole life.
What comes out of their little worm bodies is silk. A very fine film of pure white silk. The silk forms a protective shield around their now vulnerable worm body.
When the pods begin to reach maximum maturity the Pioneer women would carefully take them off the Mulberry tree and put them in the pocket of their aprons. They would carry them around until they could feel movement, indicating that the transformation was complete and the little worm was now a moth.
Then they would drop the pod into boiling water.
The boiling water would kill the moth, the moth had to be killed or it would ruin the fragile fibers, and then the woman would unravel the silk.
Most pods produce approximately a mile of silk thread.

Then the thread would become whatever the woman wanted it to be.

I was so touched by the Silkworm story...
It sums up my dressbarn experience. I couldn't have heard the story at a better time. I believe it is Heavenly Father's way of helping me understand my life a little better.

Last week I was dropped into a pot of boiling water. I had done all I could as a worm. I had been forming the pod; cocoon, for a couple of years now and Heavenly Father didn't want me to turn into a moth...
...my mission is not to be a moth...
...my mission was also NOT to be the worm...
...my mission was to create silk...

And that is exactly what I did.

I have so many meaningful relationships that were developed over years of trust, tears, laughter and service.

The moth is dead...my dressbarn life is over.
All I have is the beautiful, pure white, fragile silk...

I get to choose what it will become.

I love my life.

I love you all.

Make it a great week.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Hi family...
It has been a while since I have felt inspired...
I find, all the time, that I have so much more to learn. It seems that as soon as I think I have figured things out the only thing I figure out is that I need to change...evolve...humble myself.
Do you ever ask yourself why?
Why am I always the one that has to change?
Why can't the 'bad' person change and be better...
Why do I have to change and 'learn' to love them?
I DON'T WANT TO LOVE THEM!!!!!!!
Yes, we are back to that 'store manager'...
For weeks now I have been feeling as if I were getting closer and closer to a den of rattlesnakes...being drawn in because the miracle of change has happened within me, I just assumed that it had happened within her
...no.
She is still the person that I prayed to love. I had actually learned to love her...
But, a couple of days ago I found out that the only one that has changed is me.
In October, on my birthday in fact, I first met this woman...and I knew from the very first moment that we were like oil and water.
You all know from prior posts that this is a stumbling block I have continually prayed to overcome.
I didn't just walk out, or leave...I felt that my relationship with her would teach me something. Sometimes the things we learn don't bring us joy, but chalk this up to lesson learned. I know now that it is time for me to leave my job of five years and find a better path, one that will lead me where I want to go.
So today I have decided to not be 'chicken'.

And that my sweet family brings me to the message for this week.
I have been reading a book by Camille Fronk, "In the Hands of the Potter".
On pages 49-50 she records a section of the book, "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis.

..."When He said, 'Be perfect,' He meant it. He meant that we must go in for the full treatment. It is hard; but the sort of compromise we are all hankering after is harder - in fact, it is impossible. It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad".

I hate to admit it...
but I HAVE BEEN AN EGG...

I have been a jolly good little egg,
I have been the BEST JOLLY GOOD LITTLE EGG EVER!!!

But it is time to hatch...
before I go bad...

IT IS TIME TO FLY!!!

I AM SOOOO EXCITED!

Have a great week family...
don't be chicken...FLY!!!

Have I told you all lately that I love you?

I do.

Angel #2

Now, just to get this out of the way in the beginning...Angel #2 is NOT my second FAVORITE angel...she just came to me second.
I think now that she has a second child of her own she understands that one definitely loves the second child as much as one loves the first.
My story of Jessica Pearl began when Angel #1 was only 4 months old. I was helping on the dairy; my job was to feed the new, baby calves. I would put Tiffany in her stroller and we would go to the calf pens and feed the noisy, hungry babies.
I had been feeling kinda yucky...tired, weak, just really blah...
The owner of the dairy came up to me and said, "Are you ok? You are acting like a pregnant cow." I was still nursing Tiffany and didn't know that I was expecting my second little angel. So...surprise, surprise!
I KINDA WAS A PREGNANT COW!!!
I believed the 'old wives tale' about not getting pregnant while you are nursing...
I did! I blew that old wives tale right out of the water!
My pregnancy was perfect. I worked on the dairy...lifting, fighting with the baby calves. They loved to butt me in the tummy when I had them straddled between my legs trying to force them to take the bottle.
We traveled across the US several times, we spent Tiffany's first birthday in Virginia and then travelled back to Arizona so we could have our new baby there.
Since we only had a 'round about' date of when Jessica was due we just waited and prayed.
We moved to Cottonwood, AZ to be with my Mom and Dad. My mother paid our doctor bill with one of her oil paintings, one the doctor had wanted for some time. A couple of years ago Jessica called the doctor to see if she could buy the painting from him and he said no...he loves that painting...
I was getting very LARGE, and it was a HOT, looonnng Arizona summer.
On a Friday afternoon Mike and Becky came into town, we went to Pizza Hut for a late lunch. I almost tripped over a big rock because I could not see anything past my huge belly.
I started to have contractions so I called my doctor...he advised me to come in so he could check me before the office closed for the weekend..
Oh, did I mention that it was LABOR day weekend?
How ironic!
I was dilated to a 5, (I think).
He said, "I will meet you at the hospital."
Two and a half hours after checking me into the hospital Jessica came with a vengeance! Which is perfect for who she is!
We didn't have time to do anything for the pain...her daddy and big sister almost missed the whole thing. My mother was right beside me holding my hand and coaching me through my only completely NATURAL birth. I was told that people in the halls could hear me screaming and that my Dad turned white with worry.
Then she came! She was big, and appeared to be full grown. My mother took her and weighed her...10 POUNDS...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??
We stayed in the hospital a mere 24 hours and home we went.
Jessica was hungry allll the time!
Years have passed and many stories could be told but today I want to record my overall impression and feelings about this precious angel.
If I could only use one word to describe Jessica it would be...
WARRIOR
She is the single most resilient person that I know. She has endured so much in her short life.
She is an inspiration to me!
See too, is one of my heroes!
How one little person can go through so much adversity and still be so positive and happy.
I am grateful that Heavenly Father sent her to me and that I have the amazing opportunity to be her mother.
She is a wonderful mother and it is so fun to watch her take care of her little babies.
I love you Jessica.
29 years ago Heavenly Father sent me an angel.

Olivia Grace

Friday, August 19th, we received an angel.
Olivia Grace came into our world at 14:24.
She is calm and quiet and peaceful.
She has tons of dark hair and a little dimple in her little chin.
Jessica did an amazing job delivering her. She only had to push six times and there was our new baby girl.
Birth is such a blessing, not only to the one being born, but to every member of the family. We all feel reborn, renewed; as if we get to start all over again. It gives us hope.
I love my family!

Happiness or Joy?

I have often thought about the scripture, "Man are, that they might have joy."
Today it is taking on a new meaning; or should I say a greater understanding.
There are many things in life that bring us happiness.
I married Bob because he made me happy. We had fun together, we had a lot of happy days, but as I think back, there was very little 'joy'. I had true joy the day that each of our children were born. Is it fair to say that although I was sometimes happy with Bob the only true joy I felt came from my children?
Joy comes from such a deeper place; from doing what is right and good.
We can find happiness in a lot of different ways...
...winning at a card game
...passing an important test
...getting a new car
but when you really think about it, that is a happiness that eventually wanes.
Those of you that have children...does the joy you felt the day that child came into your world ever wane?
When Christ was born the Angel said, "I bring you tidings of great JOY" That joy far surpasses happiness...
I think that is why I have a love/hate relationship with girls camp...
I can honestly say that the experiences didn't always make me happy, in fact they generally DIDN'T make me happy...
but, they brought me great JOY.
The experiences brought me closer to my Savior, and the experiences brought the girls that I love closer to the Savior...
and that is JOY.
Tiffany and Jessica, remember when we went on Trek? You were both so miserable...
hot, cold, tired, hungry...I was miserable too!
But the lessons I learned changed a part of me.
I experienced JOY.
Joy because of the testimonies that I heard and felt.
Joy because there was an equality amongst the travelers; we were all at our worst, and that is when we relied on our Savior the most.
Joy that we didn't have to live like that everyday; that we got to go home to a hot shower and a soft bed
...and Taco Bell.
What would bring me my greatest joy?
One very simple thing...
Being sealed to each of my children.
Because I chose happiness over Joy none of my children were born in the new and everlasting covenant, and today that makes me sad...the happiness has been replaced with sadness...
Joy can never be replaced, it can only be added upon.
Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote: "The Lord cannot save us without our own good-faith effort...no matter how much He would give to make us His...He not only would not, He cannot control us against our will."
Satan's plan is just the opposite...he first seeks to control us, and then destroys us.
My prayer is that this week you each seek the things that bring you JOY!

I love you all...

Make it a JOYfull week.

Rocks, boulders and stones oh my...

Adapting to change is a very difficult thing sometimes.
I think it is easier if changes come slowly, but if things change too fast or too often it is easy to become weary, and to sometimes just throw in the towel and give up.
Terry and I sat on the floor in our bedroom and discussed the changes that are going in our lives. I think he adapts far better than I do...or maybe it is because I tend to whine when I have to change and Terry takes it all in stride...either way, times... they are a changin'.
The only thing consistent in life is change.
Terry asked me what I would do if he went up into the mountains and brought home a great big boulder and then put it right in the middle of our bathroom. He said that the boulder would be too heavy for me to move so I would have to 'adapt' to the new addition to our otherwise beautiful bathroom. I told him that knowing me I would first write a post in my blog about how irritated I was... I would probably kick it a time or two...just for good measure, and then the miracle of adapting would begin. I might even grow to love the boulder...and again; knowing me I would decorate it in some way so that it looked like it belonged in the bathroom...I might lay towels on it so they could dry...etc.
Eventually the boulder would become a part of our life...I might even miss it when it was finally gone.
We ended up with several analogies about rocks, boulders and stones.
The one I want to write about today is "the boulders in our lives". The things that we cannot change. They could be a new boss, or a new baby. Or an old habit or addiction that we just can't overcome on our own.
The only way to move that boulder is to focus on the things in life that we CAN change, not on the things that we can't.
For instance...two years ago the manager at my store resigned...she was replaced with someone who is very different from me. We do not hardly even speak the same language. All I wanted to do was quit...I didn't want Heavenly Father to help me learn to love her because I just wanted to HATE her. I was comfortable with the feelings I had for her.
As time went by I realized that it would be unwise for me to look for a new job and that is when I decided that I better adapt because SHE was not going to change...the change had to come from me.
I began to pray. I let Heavenly Father know how I felt about her and that I really didn't want to like her...but I had to learn to love her...as a person.
The transformation started, it took about a year. In October it will be 2 years since she came into my life and I can say...without any reservation that I do indeed love her. It was a miracle!
So the conclusion is that my energy had to go into the thing I could change...ME. With Heavenly Father's help I changed. The boulder is still in my life but I chose to focus on the ROCK, not the boulder. It is wonderful to know that if we take care of the little rocks...pebbles...stones, then the Savior; our Rock will take care of the rest.
Last week when Tiffany was going through her miscarriage I told her to have Chad go out and find the biggest, ugliest rock he could find and put it right in the middle of her counter so it would drive her crazy every time she saw it...then she could focus on the rock instead of what was happening to her body; that she could not control.
Life will always put boulders on our path to happiness, it is how we choose to deal with that boulder that makes us who we are.

I pray that this week you will fix the things you can and let Heavenly Father take care of the rest.
Make it a stepping stone week...
not a stumbling block one.
I love you all!!!

Sadness

This week's post will have to wait for next week because today I want to just be reverantly quiet as I think about the amazing blessings we recieve in life.
I was blessed with five wonderful children. Each possessing differant talents and abilities. Each bringing something unique to our family.
These last couple of days have reminded me of how Heavenly Father watches over each of us, we are all equally important to Him.
Tiffany, I am sorry you lost your baby. It really is amazing how you can develop such a relationship so quickly.
From all of us...
...butterfly kisses.
We love you!

Mudpuddles...

I love my home! I love the peace that I have here.
When I am at home I am not exposed to the ugly things of the world.
Some days I wish I could just curl up on my couch and hide.
I am able to have the experiences that I want to have, and to control the environment...even down to the temperature of the house.
Which, of course isn't always comfortable for the people that visit, not to mention poor Terry...
Today I was pondering...
as I often do...
about how much I would love to be the person that I should be.
When I am home and don't have to deal with people that are sometimes mean, or rude or just stupid drivers, I think I am a pretty awesome person...
Yep, me, myself, and I...my greatest fans. :)
AND THEN....
DUH....DUH....DUH....DUH...
I have to go somewhere.
I have to open my door and leave my house...
and what happens?
Mudpuddles happen...
Do you remember when you were little and you used to play, "Don't step on a crack or you'll break your momma's back!" ?
Do you remember how you would tip toe around all the obstacles hoping not even a toe touched the crack because you just KNEW you would get home and your Mother would be in bed...never to get up again because you took your eyes off the sidewalk for just ONE second?
I remember those days...I remember how fast that game got OLD!
It was hard, especially when there was a rough patch. So eventually you just quit because it is a stupid game anyway...and Mom...she's just fine.
So today for me it is mudpuddles.
I spend my morning building my character. Reading good books. Studying my scriptures. Praying. Meditating. Cleaning house. Doing laundry. Making beds. Reading my favorite blogs...just good, uplifting, STUFF.
I am ready to take on the world. I feel good. I'm happy. I've been reborn. I have made a promise NOT to hate the woman that walks into the store at five minutes to nine and wants me to help her find a new dress...
As I leave my house I wonder when I will encounter my first mudpuddle. The stupid driver that doesn't know how to use a turning signal...the runner who is running across the driveway that leads to the donut that I can't live without this morning...
the line at the bank...
ewww. and the list goes on...
How long do I stay unspotted from the world?
I left the house at 9:15am and it isn't even 10:00am YET???
How in the world am I going to make it through the day....
So yes...I have a problem with mudpuddles.
I am drawn to mudpuddles. Mudpuddles like me...they LOVE me.

I, on they other hand, LOVE my washing machine. It is my friend.

My dear family...life is full of mudpuddles, there is nothing you can do to change that. Avoid them, don't associate with people who love to play in them..

And always remember that you can be made clean.
The Atonement is real, it will heal you...
the first step is the desire to be clean.
My prayer this week is that you each look at your life and see if there is something that you need to change. A puddle that needs to be dried up.
I love you all!
Make it a mud free week!! :)

Life

Today as I contemplate life I go on somewhat of a journey.
So...welcome aboard...
A journey through Hollie's head, now that's excitement!!! :)

Yesterday was the Forth of July, as all of you know, because of last weeks blog, it was Tiffany's birthday. But this year for Tiffany's birthday she gave me a present. She found out Sunday that she is pregnant...YEAH!!!
Jessica's little 'Olivia'; that is her name right now...will be here in August and then about 7 months later we will have another little grand baby. I am so excited.
Our babies having babies...and life goes on.
So I pose the question...if you had a choice would you want to know when your time was running out? Would you change the way you spend your days?
That brings me to an experience I want to share today...
It happened almost four years ago.
I was at the Temple. On the way in when I was at the front desk one of the gentlemen saw my name on my temple recommend. He said, "Belt, are you any relation to Dwayne Belt?" I told him that I was and he asked me how Glenys was doing, because he had heard that Dwayne died. Dwayne, of course, had not died and I told the man that he was alive and well and just as spunky as ever.
About 3 weeks later Dwayne and Glenys came over on a Sunday afternoon. We laughed and visited for about an hour. I told Dwayne about the man in the temple. As I was relating the experience something intangible happened. I knew that Dwayne was going to die. When they got up to leave I was going to give Dwayne my 'half hug'; that he always seemed to prefer, when he grabbed me and hugged me tight, as if to say good-bye, a real good-bye. That is the last time I saw Dwayne conscious.
I never mentioned the experience to anyone until long after Dwayne was gone.
I believe it was a special gift from Heavenly Father. An opportunity to say goodbye. I often felt like Dwayne thought I wasn't good enough for Terry and I sometimes felt that he liked to remind me of that. During that very moment I knew that he approved of me. What a wonderful gift.
When the family had a meeting about when to terminate life support I voted that it should be done soon because I knew he was ready to go.
I can't even begin to imagine what Glenys and the kids were going through so I kept my distance and allowed them to have him to themselves.
I went down to see him one Sunday afternoon during Sunday school because I thought I would have him to myself for just 10 or 15 minutes to say a private goodbye, and to thank him for raising such a wonderful son. When I got there Glenys and Tyler; the oldest grandson, were there. I felt bad now because I had barged in on their time...but I decided to go ahead and do what I had gone to the hospital to do...say goodbye and thank you. I took Dwayne by the hand and looked into his face. I bore my testimony to him and promised him I would take care of his precious son, I told him that I loved him, thanked him for Terry, kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye.
I had closure.
So, again, the question...what would you do if you knew?
I went to see Debbie a couple of weeks ago. The experience with Dwayne kept coming into my mind...What if this were the last time I got to visit with Debbie in this life, what would we talk about? And then yesterday Suzie called me...and I thought, What if this were the last conversation I would ever have with Suzie in this life, what would we talk about?
Do we waste our words? Do we save our 'I love you' for another day? Do we spend our days doing things that are trivial?
Or do we live our life as if this may be our last day?
My challenge this week is to live a more fulfilling life! Say I love you. Embrace the people you love! Look into their eyes and 'observe' what is there. Really pay attention to what they are saying and also to what they are NOT saying.
Be Happy.
I love you all!

Angel #1

30 years ago this weekend I was in the Idaho Falls hospital.
Many things led up to my brief stay, but on that special day I was given the most amazing gift.
Today instead of focusing on what led up to that day, and why the Forth of July would never ever be the same for me; I would like to focus and what happened that day and why it changed my life forever.
On the Forth of July 30 years ago I met an angel.
I didn't plan for her to come on the Forth, and to be quite honest I was pretty sure that my Angel was coming in the form of a BOY.
I had no idea what was happening to my body. I knew that it was getting increasingly difficult to perform my usual tasks, and I was having a hard time sleeping. My grandmother Thomas was visiting, and her words of wisdom have stuck with me all these years, "Oh honey, it's going to get worse before it gets better." I noticed that something funny was happening to my tummy and I called Suzie and Becky in to watch. I said, "Watch this, it gets hard for a while, and then it gets soft again, it keeps doing it over and over."
Fortunately my Mother was standing close by and heard my description, she said, "Hollie, you are in labor."
Things started to change really fast then. Suitcase packed, hustle, bustle, it would take at least a half an hour to get to the hospital.
We loaded the car and off we went.
Back in those days we didn't have the beautiful birthing rooms the hospitals have now, I wasn't hooked up to all the IV's and birthing monitor. I got a shot in my behind. Then the staff helped move me onto a flat, cold table. I remember them telling me that I had to move down and all I could think was, "Are you kidding me? I can't even breathe and you want me to move..."
We were wheeled into a cold, sterile labor and delivery room.
During 9 months of pregnancy you think you are prepared, you think you know what your body is doing, you think it will happen exactly how you read in the books. The things they don't tell you start to happen. The pain comes and everything else doesn't matter. Some women get mad and yell at their husband, not me, I get real quiet because I don't have the energy to focus on anything but breathing. So the incredible journey begins. As that precious baby moves closer and closer to this life the pain increases. It becomes purely basic, primal, you just let your body do what it was made to do.
And then the reward...
All the sticky black hair on top of the perfect round head of a beautiful baby girl, with the biggest, blackest eyes I have ever seen.
The doctor held her up and I cried.
That day Tiffany Marie Hammack, an angel straight from heaven left the premortal existence to be with me.
Right then I knew that Heavenly Father loved me; how could He trust me to raise, love, and teach such an amazing creature? I'm sure that I had not done enough good in the world to deserve her.
Independence Day took on a whole new meaning for me.
Learning how to be a parent, making all my best mistakes on my firstborn.
But she has carried her amazing independent personality into all that she has accomplished, in spite of me.
She is a remarkable person. She is smart. She is kind. She is strong. She knows the difference between right and wrong. She knows how to make people feel special. She knows when to shine and when to step back so that others have the opportunity to shine. She is the big sister; to not just her siblings, but to everyone.
When people would ask me how Tiffany was doing I would often say...
"She is who I want to be when I grow up."
Today she a wonderful mother. Teaching her son with love, patience, and kindness.
I was once told that the sign of a great teacher is when the student surpasses the greatness of the teacher. I must be the best teacher ever...
I love you my Tiffany Marie. Heavenly Father sent me an angel 30 years ago, I didn't deserve you then and I don't deserve you now.
You are everything I ever hoped you would be.
You are my Sunshine.

Of Dads and Heros...

My Dad....where do I begin?
Dad has a way of telling a story; he can make the story come alive. I'm sure that some of my best memories are stories that I have heard over and over and are not my memories at all, but they are his.
I love the way he remembers me. I always seem to be so much better than I am, when seen through the eyes of my Father.
I'm sure the first crush I ever had was on my Dad. He was always the most handsome man I ever knew. He always smelled so good, the way men are supposed to smell, like 'Old Spice', 'English Leather', and shaving cream.
My Father laughed with me and cried with me.
He rescued me when my world came crashing down.
I'm sure that there where times in my life that he wanted to strangle me, like the time I filled my little Austin Marina up with as many girls as would fit to go to a Stake dance in Mesa. We would cruise main street playing the radio and yelling at all the cute boys. Then when the car could take no more dad would have to drag out of bed in the middle of the night and drive all the way to Mesa to rescue me.
The rescuing actually began at a very early age, when I was playing with Ben and fell into a ditch. I would have died that day if dad wouldn't have reached the ditch in time.
I'm sure that Dad didn't know that when I became his there would be a lifetime of rescue duty.
Dad never had to clean his guns when boys picked me up for dates, or have 'the talk' with any of them, I have four older brothers, they handled all that stuff.
My Dad never loved anything or anyone more than he loved my Mom.
A couple of my favorite 'little girl' memories...
Mom always made me the most beautiful dresses, I had one once that had "Button, Button, who has the Button?" embroidered on the skirt with two great big buttons on each side. All my dresses had great big bows in the back. When I was little and getting ready for church I would always stand in front of my Dad and he would tie the most beautiful bows.
I would sit next to my daddy in church. He would take out a big white handkerchief and roll it up on each side and make me two little babies that I would gently rock to sleep.
Oh, and then there was the...
A U C M puppies?
L M N O puppies,
O S M R C M?
O S I C M....P N.
He still gets a kick out of that. :)
Dad didn't preach with words, but with the way he lived his life. He was respected by everyone in town.
Several years ago when Echo married Marc I got to dance with my dad while Ben danced with Echo. We danced to "Daddy's Hands". It was a very special day for me and I will always be grateful to Ben and Echo for sharing the floor with my dad and me.
I'm sure it broke Dad's heart every time Bob would leave me and the kids. We would sit alone in an empty house waiting for him to come pick us up, with everything we owned tied up in a bed sheet. Having daughters of my own now I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for him not to hunt Bob down and kill him. But for Bob it was just the opposite. Bob always knew that Pa Hatch loved him, even to this day after all that has happened, the perfect 'Christlike' love is felt by Bob.
Dad never judged me, never told me that he was ashamed of me. He let me live and learn, and that I did.
Never has there been a better example of the pure love of Christ.
I love my Dad. I am so blessed to able to be with him for Eternity.
I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, for the sealing power of the Priesthood that makes eternity possible.
I am grateful that my dad holds that priesthood and bears it with integrity and humility.
Happy Fathers day Dad. I love you.

A Mothers Lament

Why did I leave the proven path,
what did I hope to find?
My heart, it aches, my tears, they fall -
for the souls that I left behind.

The warnings uttered by Prophets of old
pierce my troubled mind.
My heart, it aches, my tears, they fall -
for the souls that I left behind.

Numbed by the lies of worldly desires,
so subtly those cords did bind.
My heart, it aches, my tears, they fall -
for the souls that I left behind.

The evil one intends to destroy;
as hard red wheat to grind.
My heart, it aches, my tears, they fall -
for the souls that I left behind.

I do not know how to dry my tears,
nor ease my troubled mind.
My heart, it aches, my tears, they fall -
for the souls that I left behind.

Dieting

You all know that I am a fanatic dieter, one would think that I love dieting when the truth is that I LOVE food...thus the dieting.:)

So, it is time to pull out the summer clothes, do I even need to tell you that NONE, no NONE, of my summer clothes will fit on my winter body. So the least favorite phase of my existence starts, diet I must.
If the truth were told I would rather buy new clothes...but since money is not always as plentiful as my waistline the dreaded time has come.
So you ask, "Why is she writing about something as dumb as dieting?"

IT IS ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE

When things happen in our lives we have to make a decision; we have to choose which we would rather do, change ourselves to fit the circumstance or change the circumstance to fit our life. I had to choose if I wanted to change my body or change my wardrobe. I chose change my body.

Now we get to the good stuff...
The gospel is like my summer clothes, they are unchangeable. They have been cut from a pattern and the pattern has integrity. Our job, our decision is simple. Do we choose to live the gospel principles or not? The rules will not change to accommodate immorality, or dishonesty in any degree.
I think it is sad that so many of us choose the worlds way, we choose to stay fat and worldly happy instead of curbing our appetites and fitting into the heavenly designed plan.
My prayer this week is that we reevaluate our 'spiritual' diet. We need/have to change who we are and what we do so that we will be prepared to meet Heavenly Father again.
I love you all.
Make it an amazing week.

If The Savior Stood Beside Me

I have the most wonderful opportunity to work in Primary. I get to teach the 8-9 year olds. They are so much fun and I'm sure I learn more from them than they learn from me.
I have been trying to teach them how to listen with their spiritual ears. Every time I ask them where their spiritual ears are they touch their hearts. When we have a time that the spirit is exceptionally strong I stop my lesson and explain to them what they are feeling. I remind them that the real teacher is the Holy Ghost and they need to learn when they are young how to recognize His voice, or feeling.
I love to go to sharing time and singing time. One of my favorite songs is "If the Savior stood beside me". It is such a beautiful song. I am attaching it to my blog so you can listen to it. I tried to find a copy of a children's choir; the third one on the video bar is sung by children.
I know that I would act and talk differently if I knew that the Savior was standing beside me.
When I was first called to serve in Primary I had mixed feelings. I cried all the way home from the church. I just thought, "What are THEY thinking?" That was in our old ward, when we moved to our new house I was called to teach in primary AGAIN. This time I thanked Heavenly Father and wondered what I did so good in my life that this sacred opportunity would be mine.
I love the children, when they sit beside me and sing, "Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah." The spirit testifies to me every week that the full gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth and I am blessed to a part of it.
Let us all try to have the faith of these children, to sing at the top of our lungs, "Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah", and "If the Savior stood beside me".
Our Savior truly is always beside us, my prayer is that we remember He is there, and act accordingly.
I love you all. Have a great week.

Climb every mountain...

Several years ago we went to the Grand Canyon on a family vacation. Katie, Brittany, John, Terry and Me. We had a great time, we did the hiking thing and went half way down into the canyon. I distinctly remember how much harder it was on my legs to go down than it was to go UP, they got really shaky and weak.
So...
Last week Carol, (one of my friends) and I were going to a meeting in Draper. As we were driving she was telling me a story that she heard about a group of people who were hiking up a very high mountain. The journey had to start very early in the morning or they would not be able to finish before dark. She said that when they got to the summit there was a sign that read, "You are only half done with this journey."
The speaker then went on to talk about how we all have mountains to climb. To some of us our Mountain is Temple marriage. We think, "Oh, we did it, we made it, now we're done." In actuality, we have only just begun, or are only half way done. Often the most difficult part of the journey, and equally important is the second half. The descent. What goes up, must come down.
The more I thought about it the more truth I found.
How often have I been guilty of that very thing?
Last summer Ken & Ellen, and Terry & I went to 'Hole in the Rock'. We got stuck after we had gotten too far in to turn around. We decided to get out and walk the rest of the way. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE!!
When we were walking to the site we were walking away from the sun. On the way back we were walking into to sun. It was late afternoon and very hot. We had no choice but to keep walking.
The journey will never be complete, the true lesson will never be learned if we don't finish what we start.
Sometimes life is hard. We have to take it one step at a time. But, I promise you, it will definately be worth it.
Please know that I love you.
You NEVER have to climb your mountains alone, you are always in my prayers.
Have a great week.

Cannon

This week during church I saw the cutest thing.
It was during the sacrament.
Terry and I sat in the middle of the pew, next to the Hughes family. Lincoln is the youngest of the Hughes children and he was sitting closest to me.
He is 4 (I think).
Next to him was Cannon. Cannon is in my primary class, he is 9. Next to Cannon was his Mother and his big sister.
Anyway, during the passing of the sacrament I got to pass the sacrament tray to Lincoln. When the bread came by he just looked up at me, took the tray, helped himself, then passed it on to his family.
When the water came around, Lincoln let me hold the tray for him. He took his cup, and while never taking his eyes off of me he took a sweet little sip from his cup. Then he started to put his cup back in the tray, spilling the rest of the water from his cup into another cup...
I wondered if I should take the soiled cup of water out of the tray...
Before I could do anything about it he took the tray and passed it to his brother, Cannon.
Cannon looked up at me with his darling, wise smile and took the cup that Lincoln spilled into.
Cannon smiled and I winked.
What a beautiful act of service. And no one in the congregation knew what Cannon did for them.
I just love to see the little miracles and acts of kindness that are in the world every single day.
Thank you Cannon Hughes. I love you.

All of my Family, I pray that you take the time to do something nice for someone every day this week. It doesn't have to be huge, it doesn't have to even be noticed by the receiver. You will know, and Heavenly Father will know. And if you want to, you can comment on this post and I will know.

I love you all. Have a great week.

Achy, Breaky heart...

"Don't break my heart, my achy, breaky heart. I just don't think he'd understand, and if you break my heart, my achy, breaky heart it might blow up and kill this man."

Remember that song? Oh man were those the days.
I remember...
Charleston, South Carolina
Becky, David, Beau, Jessa, and Austin Pixton...Joe wasn't born yet.
The MULLET!!! Is that ok in any world? :)
Line dancing.

Doesn't that just take you back? Billy Ray Cyrus...I think that was his only claim to fame until Miley made it big. Yup, Miley's dad....so long ago.

Why in my post this week? I think it is just because of the words. Don't we get so tired of getting our hearts broke? What is the quote Katie...

"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."

Katie and I had this conversation on Mother's Day. She was lying on my bed, I was rocking in my chair.
Heart breaks are never easy. They really do HURT! I watched an episode of Oprah the other night and she was talking about pain. She said that all pain is the same. I have thought about that a lot. I agree that all pain is the same when we talk about physical heartache...I'm pretty sure I can't tell the difference between betrayal pain or death pain, on that level I agree. But I think I agree with what Glen Beck said in his book, 'Not all pain is the same, but they rhyme.' That, I believe is a more accurate statement.
I have been through some very painful experiences. People around me are going through painful experiences right now. My heart aches for the ones I love. I remember once thinking that pain was my friend and it was actually the only thing that reminded me that I was still alive.
I often ask Heavenly Father in my prayers to keep teaching me and guiding me, but can He do it without pain?
Is it possible to learn and really grow without pain? Can some people have the gift of empathy, where they don't actually have to experience pain to understand it?
I watch all of you trying to live your lives, trying to figure it out. I know that there will be painful times for you. Times you wish you were numb.
Sometimes I get tired because I feel like I am constantly running away from pain, like if I keep running it won't catch up. I just get tired and eventually just breakdown and try to absorb all the pain I have been running from.
Would it have been better to walk, taking the pain in small doses instead of running and then trying to deal with it all at the same time.
I know that I am rambling. Not having the 'stroke of genius' like last week.
So I guess what I want to say is...
The only people that have the power to break your heart are the people that you love.
So, is it indeed better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

I, for one think that it is.

I love you all.
Have a great week. And for today...LOVE.

When it rains it pours...

Today is one of those days.
You know the kind I'm talking about? When you have a million brilliant thoughts and there isn't enough time or paper to write them all down? Yup, today is one of those days...so if you don't mind, I think I will ramble for a while.
Thought #1
Everything is just so amazing to me today! I took Terry some lunch and asked the age old question..."If one awesome thought is a 'stroke of genius' then what are a lot of awesome thoughts?" I know, it makes you crazy just thinking about it huh?! :)
I guess it depends on your definition of the word - stroke -.
Stroke...first thing that comes to my mind is a pen stroke...so this would be an entire "book" of genius.
2nd definition - brushstroke - this would be a "masterpiece" of genius.
3rd definition - stroke, as in health...Today I had a stroke....that would make this an "I just died" of genius.
Ya, I know...I have out done myself...I 'kill myself' with genius.
So, you ask, what am so smart about?
Nothing in particular. It has just been fun going down the 'stroke of genius' road and I don't want it to end.
Thought #2
Isn't it funny when we rehearse what we are going to say...
and then the times we use the same script we have used a million times before.
For instance...
Terry goes out of town every other weekend. Every Saturday morning this is our conversation...
Terry - "How did you sleep"?
Me - "Awful".
Terry - "Why"?
Me - "Cause you weren't here".
Terry - "Awwww....".

And then there are the things we can't wait to tell someone. We rehearse the whole conversation in our heads...we walk through the door and heaven forbid anyone stand in the way of what we have waited all day to be able to say.
Terry and I do that all the time too. Having a companion is a wonderful thing!
And then there are the times Terry has 'tons' of things to say, and the things that he wants to say aren't particularly 'nice', he does the "tight lips, thumb and first finger turning the key to lock in the 'ugly' things he was going to say" motion, and he doesn't have to say another word. That one action was probably worse than all the things I thought he might say.
Isn't life fun.
I know, the depth of my thoughts today are astonishing...
Some weeks I can't even think about what to put in my blog...
today I can't stop.
My real post for this week is actually the one I did earlier, about my Mom.
If I think of anymore amazing things I will post...if not, have a wonderful week.
Know that I love you all...even if it is just you Tiffany...this is for you.

Mother

I know we all think we have the best Mother...but this is MY blog so I get the last word. The best Mother in the world belongs to ME!! This weekend I started a list of the things that I miss and love about Mary Hatch.
In no particular order...
She always listened to Don Williams, he was her fav. I posted a linc to one of my favorite Don Williams hits. "I Believe in Love" It reminds me of winter mornings in Arizona, getting ready for school, eating hot cereal and watching for the bus.
She had only a hand-full of TV programs she liked. The ones I remember are...
Perry Mason
I Love Lucy
and
Baseball
She was always in the middle of a book, curled up on a chair with her little shot glass of Pepsi. She sipped on that little glass all day.
She was an amazing seamstress. Her things never looked home-made, and she sometimes made her own patterns. I do remember that she never pinned a pattern to the material, she always put tablespoons on them, just long enough to hold them down until the cutting was done.
She loved to move the furniture...
She always made her bed, never did I EVER see her bed unmade.
She new how to ignore us when we were loud, but could hear a pin drop, and a whisper NEVER went unnoticed. If we were quiet she knew we were up to something.
I never heard her say anything negative about my Father. She taught us to love, and respect him.
I remember the day John F. Kennedy was shot. My mother was ironing; she often set up her ironing board in the livingroom so she could watch gameshows while she ironed, that is what she was doing the time JFK died.
She never pretended to be something she wasn't.
Never needed to be the center of attention. She always let us shine.
I never remember a time when she wasn't home, or a phone call away. She was always just where I needed her to be.
I remember her in hair curlers with pink pins. Oh, and the smell of the hair dryer, I can still smell the plastic bonnet, and the feel of the warm air coming out of the hose.
She made everything beautiful.
She taught us to find beauty in everything...
...a loaf of fresh bread
...a desert rain
...the age in an old woman's tired eyes
...my daddy's hands
...beauty marks and crooked teeth
The list could go on and on...
When I think of my mother I see beauty.
I saw a commercial lately for "The Top 100 most Beautiful Women", what a sad tribute to womanhood.
I am grateful to know what true beauty is, my mother is a perfect example.

Mother Dear I love you so,
Your happy, smiling face
is such a joy to look at
you make make the world a BETTER place.

I love you Mom.

Mountains

I recently read a book by Richard Paul Evans. It is the second in his series, "The Walk". The epilogue was absolutely beautiful, and I want to share it with you.
It is a little longer than my usual posts, but I loved every word and don't want to leave anything out...

"What my father said about mountains is true. We climb mountains because the valleys are full of cemeteries. The secret of survival is to climb, even in the dark, even when the climb seems pointless. The climb, not the summit, is the thing. And the great don't just climb mountains, they carve them as they go.
Korczak's dream was an impossible one - that one man could sculpt a mountain. I can only imagine the barbs and insults of Korczak's critics, and he had galleries of them. "You're crazy, a fool, you'll never do it," they sang from their low places and half-dug graves. "The statue will never be complete."
But Korczak knew better than to listen to the ghosts in the cemeteries. Every day he climbed his mountain, and with a chisel here, a blast there, he moved tons of stone as his dream emerged from the mountain.
Korczak knew he'd never live to see his work finished, but this was no reason to stop. As he lay dying, he was asked if he was disappointed to not see the monument completed. "No," he said, "you only have to live long enough to inspire others to do great things."
And this he did. As the mountain took form, the masses began to dream too. And they began to move. Today millions come from around the world to see Korczak's mountain, and a professional crew works year-round to move the dream forward. It is no longer a question of if the statue will be completed, only when.
But Korczak's greatest legacy is not a public one, the massive stone mountain that he conquered, but the mountain he conquered in himself-a mountain that he climbed alone-and in this we can all empathize. For there are moments in all lives, great and small, that we must trudge alone our forlorn roads into infinite wilderness, to endure our midnight hours of pain and sorrow - the Gethsemane moments, when we are on our knees or backs, crying out to a universe that seems to have abandoned us.
These are the greatest of moments, where we show our souls. These are our "finest hours." That these moments are given to us is neither accidental nor cruel. Without great mountains we cannot reach great heights. And we were born to reach great heights.
Every one of us is faced with the task equal to Korczak's, one as gorgeously absurd - to chip away at the stone of our own spirits, creating a monument, our task will not be completed in our lifetime. And in the end we will find that we were never sculpting alone.
Korczak said, "I tell my children never forget that man is not a complete being in himself. There's something greater than he that moves him."
I don't honestly know if I'll reach Key West, but I do know that I will never give up. And, when I take my final step, whether or not I made my destination doesn't really matter, because in the end I will be a different man than the one who left Seattle. I was never carving a mountain. I was carving myself."

I am so inspired by this! I want to be a better person.
May we all learn how to use the tools we have been given to carve our lives.
I love you all.
Have a great week!
P.S. To read more about Korczak go to - www.crazyhorsememorial.org

Not my will, but thine...

This Sunday I was sitting in sharing time listening to a member of the Primary Presidency talk about the Atonement. She was showing the children the picture of Jesus kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane, you know the picture I'm talking about, we have seen it a million times.
We have heard this story a million times.
You know how when you hear something that you have heard over and over and over and then one day...
it just sinks in?
Well that happened to me.
When Jesus got to the Mount of Olives he left his disciples about a stones throw away. He fell to his face. He did not stumble because of a rock or bump, He stumbled because of the weight of our sins. Heavenly Father sent an Angel...
..."And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him."
Jesus prayed to His Father..."Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not My will but Thine, be done."
Now that is the part of this story that I have glazed over all of these years.
He prayed those words to His Father not only once, but THREE times.
I always think of the Atonement in how it affects me. And all Mankind. And I have always thought about the physical pain that He had to endure. But I can't say that I have thought a lot about the emotional pain that He was going through for HIM. He didn't want to have to suffer and die. He didn't want to leave the people He loved. His Mother, Joseph, His Apostles. He had a broken heart. Not just for us, but for Him too! It makes the atonement so much more real to me. It makes HIM so much more real to me. The fact that He understands my pain so perfectly. He has to; He suffered so much more than I will EVER suffer.
I want you all to know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. He suffered, died, and left His own family and friends because He made a commitment. He is a man of perfect character. He LOVES each and every one of us. He understands our pain, our sorrow and our loss.
I love you all.
Read the accounts of His last week in the New Testament. Prepare yourself for Easter morning. Not with eggs and bunnies, but with a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Make this week Special!

Sheep

Conference was amazing, as usual.
I had to work Saturday afternoon so I just watched that session of conference yesterday. There were a lot of wonderful talks. I wanted to put one of my favorite poems in my blog this week. Richard J. Maynes quoted it in his talk "Establishing a Christ-Centered Home".

The Echo
by: C. C. Miller

'Twas a sheep not a lamb
That strayed away in the parable Jesus told,
A grown up sheep that strayed away
From the ninety and nine in the fold.
And why for the sheep should we seek
And earnestly hope and pray?
Because there is danger when sheep go wrong:
They lead the lambs astray.
Lambs will follow the sheep, you know,
Wherever the sheep may stray.
When sheep go wrong,
It won't take long till the lambs are as wrong as they.
And so with the sheep we earnestly plead
For the sake of the lambs today,
For when the sheep are lost
What a terrible cost
The lambs will have to pay.

Being a parent is no easy task, and it sure isn't for sissies! We are told that if we don't teach our children correct principles then the sin will be on our head. No matter how old our children get they always need us. Our responsibility to parent them never goes away. I think that when we are young and in love and we are so excited to start a family, it just doesn't sink in that these cute little babies will grow up to be teenagers, and then young adults. Pretty soon we have to let go and allow them to make their own decisions and that is so hard.
The very best help we can get is from our Heavenly Father. They were His children long before they were ours. We have a sacred obligation to Heavenly Father to raise them the way He wants us to.
We need to be good sheep, and we need to listen to our Shepherd.
My prayer is that we will learn to recognize His voice.
I love you all.
Make this a good week.

We believe...

Article of Faith #3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. I Love the simplicity of The Articles of Faith. I am continually learning. It reminds me a little of Shrek. He explained that he had layers, like an onion. I keep peeling back more layers and there is always something new to learn. One of my favorite "Atonement" analogies is one I heard today. The law of gravity. If we jump out of an airplane we will fall to the ground. We have parachutes that can help us float gently, and will save us from the fall. It isn't enough to just know that the parachute exists. We must purchase one and learn how to use it for it to be effective. Just like the parachute, it isn't enough just to know or even acknowledge that the Atonement it real, we must learn how to use it in our lives for it to be effective. I promise that if you learn how to use our Savior's Atonement you will live a happier, more complete life. Heavenly Father is Real. He Loves You and wants you to be happy. I love you all.

Men, Men, Men, Men, Manly Men

Since only my daughters read my blog I think it will be safe to address the subject of Men.
Ponder, what is a real man...? Is it the guy on the Old Spice commercials? Is it Jimmer? Is it the guy whos voice we hear in the 'Ram' truck commericials? Or could it be the Dad in the commericial who starts his car for his daughter all the way from England?
Are we too hard on men? Do we expect them to smell like the guy from 'Old Spice', shoot a basketball like Jimmer and still be humble about the 'team effort'? Do they need to sound like 'Ram' truck man and provide a luxery car like the 'England' guy?
So does the media tell us what a real man is or do we decide on our own.
I have several men that I admire in my life. And I can assure you, NONE of them are Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, or Donald Trump, the faces of TV, Sports and Wealth.
So in no particular order, here are a few.
My Dad. Thomas S. Monson. Chad Schmidt. Joseph Smith. Daniel Anderson. Dwayne Belt. Henry B. Eyring. Ben Hatch. Hugh Hatch.
I assure you the list could go on but I have to end it somewhere and today I end it with Two Men that are my favorites of all time. First, My Savior, and Second, My Husband.
I have to tell you what I saw this week...
Terry's electric razor died on Sunday. He had to be at an early meeting and the Bishop ran his finger up Terry's chin and asked him about the condition of his razor. Terry explained that his electric one was dead. When Terry got home his razor still hadn't charged so it was thrown in the garbage. He didn't have any regular razors, nor did he have any regular shaving cream. He wondered whether he should go to the store on Sunday, the Lord's sabbath. We decided it would be best to observe the sacred day and work with what we had....so...
To me a real man is a man who is not too macho to use a pretty, pink razor and Dove soap to shave so he can present himself to the Lord on His sacred day.
Terry is my Hero. I love him so much and thank Heavenly Father every day for the privilege of being his wife.
So, don't let the media tell you what a man really is supposed to be. You already know.
I love you all.
Have a great week!

Simple

Well, the newsletter that I was dreading came out last Sunday. I hid it away in my drawer because I didn't want anyone to see it. Mostly I think I hid it from myself, because no one else even knows that it exists. Katie got the same newsletter in the mail but only opened the envelope, never took out what was inside. How many of us do that? We get a letter and never even bother to look at it, especially if it is from someone we feel will preach to us or tell us things about ourselves that we don't really want to know. How many of us avoid praying because we don't want to be reminded of what we just don't want to deal with?
But, that is not what this post is about, it is about simplicity. It does have a little, well maybe a lot, to do with the newsletter though. As I read about the other 3 women spotlighted and then finally moved on to mine I was pretty disappointed at first, I think that is why I put it away. I haven't read it in over a week because I have started to embrace what Sister Wright wrote about me and I am afraid if I read it again all of the good things I have started to believe will go away....Am I just crazy? Maybe, probably, but even so...

What I learned about myself is that I am really simple. When I finished reading the spotlight the thought just settled on me, not like a two-by-four moment, more like a gentle dew from heaven, just a quiet voice, "Hollie, she nailed you, you are simple". So of course, you know me, in my quest to like who I am and be comfortable with that knowledge I have turned simplicity into a good thing.
So, this week's challenge is to look at yourself, don't take 51 years to find out that you are who you are, who Heavenly Father created you to be. If that is simple, that is OK. I can't pretend to be something that I'm not and neither should you. Embrace the person that you are and surround yourself with people who love you for being who you were born to be.

I love you all.

Have a great week.

To be or not to be...

I have been reading a book lately by Sheri Dew entitled 'No One Can Take Your Place'. She writes about how important our roles are in this life. I read something last night that I thought I would like to share, so the next paragraph or two are from her book.

As a journalist for the Saturday Evening Post in Europe during the 1930's, Dorothy Thompson witnessed Hitler's rise to power. During an address at a convention in Toronto on May 2, 1941, she said this, "Before this epoch is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up with Hitler or against him. Every living human being will either have opposed this onslaught or supported it. For if he tries to make no choice, that in itself will be a choice. If he takes no side, he is on Hitler's side. If he does not act, that is an act - for Hitler."

Then Sheri Dew takes it to the institution of the Family. And she said this, "Before this era is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up in support of the family as we know it and as God intended it, or against it. Every living human being will either have opposed the onslaught against the family or supported it. For if we make no choice, that in itself will be a choice. If we do not act in behalf of the family, that itself will be an act in opposition to the family."

Sheri then challenges women - "As women who care about our families in particular and about the family in general, as mothers and wives, grandmothers and sisters and aunts, we no longer have the luxury of standing by and watching what is happening all around us. It is time to stand up and be counted.
I remember that Tiffany used to have a poster on her wall that said, "Stand for something, even if you're standing alone".
Now is the time for courage, the world is only going to get worse.
My prayer is that we will not be afraid to do what we know is right.
I love you all.

Thoughts

So, my first thought is actually a question...Why do my best thoughts come in the middle of the night?

Last night I kept waking up, thinking about blogs. I was wondering if I should start another blog to write my thoughts and keep this one just for the Ark. I must have woke up a dozen times with the same thing on my mind, I know now that the reason it keeps coming back is because it is unresolved. So I am going to resolve it right now. No, I am not starting another blog, I can put everything I want here. Only a handful of people read it anyway.

That is another thing. I think a blog is more for the person writing it than it is for the people who read it. It is like keeping a journal. You are able to sort things out in your mind. You are able to have 'closure'. So dear family, I will also be putting in some of my thoughts, my frustrations, and some of the unanswered questions that float around in my head. I keep hoping that one day there will not be enough room in my head for any 'floating' to happen but no, I never get it full enough no matter how I try. I think sometimes it is like a strainer. I put tons in but there is so much that just goes right through. This blog is going to allow me to keep all the good stuff....hopefully. :)

Yes, you all know that I am a 'forgetter'. Is that a word? Probably not, but here in hollieworld it is...So this blog will help me remember, and will give you all the thoughts just in case I do forget and then you can help me remember. Thank you in advance.

Now, let's get on with what I got on here to say. Maybe that is the problem, I think I have so MUCH to say that I don't know where to start. blah, blah, blah....poor Terry, he has to put up with this all the time. Did I tell you all how much I love you? Thanks to all of you for putting up with me.

OK. So in my babbling I think I figured out what is bugging me. I got a call the other day, the Relief Society President wants to do a focus page on me for the month of March. Now for most people it is not really a big deal. And in reality it is not really a big deal, it's not like it's the New York Times. It's a simple little life sketch. I just feel so insignificant. I read the other sketches every month, sometimes I even cry because I feel so average. What do I have to offer? I told a couple of ladies at work and they said, "Oh if only we could write it." They know me pretty well...

I am really worried about what to say. I don't have any medals, my victories didn't come with any type of recognition. I didn't do a mighty recital or write a dissertation. I don't have a diploma, I didn't study under some amazing artist or musician. I've made so many mistakes, I didn't have the 'happily ever after', I do now, but it came after a lot of heartache and trials. I don't think anyone will look at my life and say, "When I grow up I want to be her." And that is OK with me, I just don't think I want every woman in the ward to say that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I really like who I am, I have embraced my life and my journey. I like the person that all my trials helped me to become. Maybe I can say that I studied under the greatest teacher, musician, artist, and master of all. All I learned was at the footstool of my Savior. And for that I am so grateful. My trials literally forced me to rely on Him, because I had no one else. But that is so personal, I don't want everybody to know that. So here I am, back at square one. Today at 3pm I will be interviewed and I don't have a clue what to say.

I am so blessed to have such great parents who taught me all the important things. The principles of the Gospel. Who taught me to not call them every time my life caused me to stumble, who taught me to rely on the One that is really and truly always there. I am grateful for my Savior, my Best Friend. My soft place to fall and my Rock.
Have a great Valentines day! Thank you all for being my Valentines! I love you!

Horse

I grew up in a family of 'horse' people. No, they didn't walk on four feet, or whinny, they didn't eat oats, well maybe they DID eat oats. :) They just really loved horses. Me, not so much. Oh, I had my share of experiences with the beautiful animals but it didn't take me long to learn that the more beautiful they were the more Feisty they were. So I learned to like the not so pretty ones better. The old nags that couldn't move very fast or were just too tired to buck me off. I did actually get bucked off a horse one time. It scared me so bad that I swore I would never ride again. I think I was about 10. I saddled my noble steed and rode off into the sunset. I pushed that horse and pushed that horse to go faster, faster. I didn't know that she was pregnant and just didn't like the game I was playing with her. She finally got tired of me and simply threw me to the ground. I felt like I flew through the air for 10 minutes before I finally came in contact with the hard ground. It knocked the wind out of me, and that really scared me, I don't think that had ever happened before. I was all alone in the middle of the desert with this stupid horse that was just looking at me like I was the stupid one...really? So, I walked her home, literally, I didn't ride her, I walked her like a dog and put her away. She had a colt the next day. Poor little thing. I felt bad because I had been so mad at her. I even watched her give birth, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Her baby was so little. Did I mention that she was a Shetland pony? Yes, my noble steed that sent me flying was a Shetland pony. Yup, that was one of those 'tender mercies' from my Heavenly Father. If you have to get thrown from a horse let it be a little horse. ;) My words of wisdom for the day.
No really, the reason I have horses on my mind today is because of the testimony a gentleman shared on Sunday. He is an older man, probably in his 80's. He looks and acts older that my Dad. He talked about a horse he and his siblings shared when they were young. The horse was their only mode of transportation and they loved him. He was dependable and a true friend. He said that one year they asked their dad if they could enter their horse in the race at the county fair. Their dad laughed and said that that old horse would never win a race, that he was just an old work horse. But the kids pleaded with their father. They told their father that they knew he would never win but they thought it would be a wonderful experience for their horse to be running next to champions. That really touched me. I believe that when we have the opportunity to rub shoulders with greatness it makes us stand a little taller. So this week my challenge to you is to "Stand a little TALLER"
I love you all

Sun

Good Monday morning to all of my sweet family. As you all know yesterday was Sunday, I'm not sure how many of you went to church so I thought I would share a couple of things I learned.
I went to a missionary farewell. It was pretty amazing! I can't believe how much Stuart has grown. Wasn't it just last year that he was totally Emo? No, I think it was two years ago. He truly understands the power of the atonement, he is not the same person he was, nor is he the same person he was before he went emo. The changes are such an awesome thing. He has such a great understanding of reaching out to the 'one'. Because of all he has been through I think he will be drawn to the people who are going through similar trials. He will be a wonderful missionary.
The other speaker at his farewell spoke about the importance of obedience. Tiffany and Jessica, I'm sure you can really relate because you have small children that are just learning about obedience. It is so important to teach them when they are little. It is a hard lesson to learn, but once learned your job becomes so much easier. So don't give up, work on it every day, believe me, you will be glad you did.
So, let's get to the title of this post:
"Sun".
The speaker yesterday said that there were 3 types of people. Suns, Moons, and Stars.
(If you think about it you know some people just like that.) Now let me explain the theory behind each of them.
Stars: they are people who put off a little bit of light, but they do put off light.
Moons: they are people who put off more light, but their light comes from the reflection of the sun. They are bright and beautiful, but only when the sun is influencing their lives.
Suns: they are bright and beautiful all the time. They bring light and happiness into the lives of others. The don't mind sharing their light because they know from where their source comes.
This week try to be more of a "Sun" person. Share your light. Be happy.
I love you all.

Life

I have been thinking a lot about life lately. It is such a great miracle that we have the freedom of choice. As a mother though, we wish we could take that freedom away from our children sometimes. And that is not only limited to little children. The older my babies get the more I want to hold them in my arms on my rocking chair and tell them the stories of Jesus. I want them to remember the stories, I want the stories to be a part of their lives. I am teaching the 8-9 year olds in Primary now and there is not a week that goes by that I don't wish my children were sitting in my class. Last week we studied the life of John the Baptist. The children learned about how he dressed and what he ate. They learned that he was foreordained to come to earth and fulfill the mission of baptizing Jesus Christ. I gave each of the children a quote by President Ezra Taft Benson that reads: "You are choice spirits, many of you having been held back in reserve for almost 6,000 years to come forth in this day, at this time, when the temptations, responsibilities, and opportunities are the very greatest." The amazing thing about fore ordination is that even though we were born for greatness, we can choose not to be so great. My prayer is that we all choose to be what we came to earth to be. So my challenge today is "Go out and be who you were born to be". I love you all

Building

So, I know that this quote from C. S. Lewis is not about building a boat, but it is about 'building'. It is one of my very favorites.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

Letter to Family

January 10, 2011

Dear Family,

I am so excited about this new year! I can't even put into words the excitement that is continually bubbling up inside of me. I think of you all often and have decided that this excitement is too much to contain so I am sharing it with all of you.

This, my dears is the beginning of a new year, and new Journey. Those of you who know me well know how much I love journeys. I think that is why I like the Hobbits so much. Let me share my journey with all of you, because believe it or not you play an important roll in this year's journey. I believe my love for journeys came when I was sixteen and had just received my patriarchal blessing. One thing Heavenly Father told me through my Stake Patriarch was that my “journey through life would be sweet”. Every time I read my blessing that word jumps off the page and sinks deep into my soul.

One thing I have learned over the years is that you constantly need to be listening because you never know when something will make an impact and change your life.

I will begin by explaining how the inspiration came to me this year.
Last week in testimony meeting a gentleman bore his testimony on the trials we face in our lives and reminded us that 'if ye are prepared ye shall not fear'. He took us back to the days of Noah and his mighty ark. The Lord warned the people for years that there would be a flood. They laughed at Noah as he constructed his boat on dry land. They laughed until it started to rain. The gentleman then asked the question, “Are our boats ready to sail on the storm tossed sea?” Oh my GOSH! Really?!
That was it, my mind started to race...how can I incorporate this into my life? How can I answer that question? I'm pretty sure that if it started to rain today that I could probably tread water for a little while. I could probably even float for a little while. But really...I'm pretty sure I would die. I don't want to die, I'm not ready to die. I decided that day that I was going to build an ark. As I began formulating the idea I began to worry about how my ark wouldn't be complete without the people that I love, sooooo. Yup this is where it gets good.

YOU ARE ALL INVITED

Everyone that receives this e-mail is invited to board the
USS Beltham. (Belt Hammack)


This is a list of those invited to board.

All the members of the Belt/Hammack Family, who are:
Terry, Hollie, Tiffany, Chad, & Cole Schmidt, Russell, Jessica, Daniel, Jaxon, and Baby Anderson, Harley and Zack, John, Brittany, & Katie.
We are also inviting....JoAnn and Bill Clayson, and Bob Hammack. They will not receive letters though as we feel they may be offended, and that is not or intent. We just feel that the children in both families would not want to leave their other parent behind. And we as former spouses are eternally grateful for the monumental role that they played in our lives.
These letters will also be received by our parents; Harley and Mary Hatch, and Glenys Belt.

Now that you all know who is invited here are the rules:

1.You must respond to this e-mail stating one of two things.
Do you want to be a part of this? Or do you not.
We will not FORCE anyone to be on our boat. Russell, as oldest of the Belt children we ask that you respond for your mother.
And, Tiffany, as oldest of the Hammack children we ask that you respond for your father.

2.There are 10 wooden rails that make up our boat. They are:
1. Pay tithing
2. Attend church meetings
3. Attend the temple
4. Do Home and Visiting Teaching
5. Have Family Home Evening
6. Pray daily
7. Study scriptures daily
8. Fast once a month
9. Do service
10. Work on other preparedness, ie. Food storage, maintaining a healthier lifestyle, family history

3.Each month I will send each of you an e-mail to tell you how things are going and how our boat is progressing, I will also include a picture of our boat. Similar to the one I'm send in this e-mail, just hopefully with some boards attached. :)

4.We are doing this as a Family. We do not expect all of you to do ALL of the things on the list. We would like you to, but we realize that we are all at different places on our own personal journeys. What we ask is that you do your best. We want you to elevate the lifestyles that you are currently living. Be a little better, try a little harder. We don't expect perfection but be do expect you to do something to contribute the construction of our ship.

As I receive responses I will make little stick figures of each of you and put you in our boat. This is obviously a work in progress so I ask that you be patient with me as this unfolds.
My prayer is that you catch the 'vision' of this journey. That you even entertain the possibility of creating your own personal boat, set goals, reach a little higher, be a little better.
The blessings that we have been given in this life are beyond amazing. We need to be grateful to an Eternal Father in Heaven that loves us. We need to show our love and gratitude to Him by living better lives.

I want to testify to you that I KNOW Heavenly Father lives. I know that He loves each of us. I know that Jesus Christ is my personal Savior. I know that He is YOURS as well. I know that if we live our lives more closely to the teachings of our Savior we will be happier. No matter what we choose to believe or where we are on our journey there is hope. Hope for a better life. Hope for safe passage back to our Heavenly home where we can be encircled by His love always.

My prayer is that you will each respond. That you will all choose to be a part of this amazing journey. I love you all so much. I am grateful for the organization of families.

This year our journey is to BUILD! To build as a family.

All of my love, and hope, hope for clear skies and the time we need to build.

Mom, Hollie

PS The battery is dead in my camera...those of you who know we well know that is no surprise... :) I will send a picture of the boat next week.